“I’m a great proponent of worrying – it really works for me. Ninety percent of the things I worry about never happen.”
I’m sure there are some wives who would similarly state,
“Nagging really works for me. Ninety percent of the things I nag about are accomplished!”
I wonder what percentage of the things we wives nag about, would have happened anyway without us nagging, and what would the result be in our marriages if our husbands never had to hear us nag again? My husband gave me a great compliment last night. He said,
“I see what other men have to put up with, and I know how very blessed I am that I don’t have a wife who nags.”
I agreed that it was nice to be at a stage in our marriage where nagging isn’t an issue, and he said,
“Well, you’ve never really been a nag.”
Wow, more points! While it’s true that I’m a typical ‘middle child’, and fairly patient and easy-going, I can’t deny knowing a little about the subject of nagging! In fact, the subtitle of my book, ‘Won Without Words,’ gives me away: “How I conquered nagging, lecturing, and arguing, and learned how to get everything I ever wanted from my husband without saying a single word.”
I’ve come a long way (as my husband has thankfully noticed!) but it hasn’t always been this way! As a woman who has been married over twenty-six years, I have learned the secret to a happy and peaceful home: keep your mouth shut! This spiritual principle, adopted from I Peter 3: 1-2
(“Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.” NIV),
came true in the spiritual sense, but let me suggest a more practical application of that powerful principle that I learned along the way.
When a wife chooses to not assume the authoritative role over her husband, relinquishing the need to boss and manage her husband, and instead chooses to remain silent, a miracle occurs. And I’m not just saying that it is a miracle that the woman stops nagging!! I’m referring to the miracle that occurs when you give your husband the freedom to be a man, led by the Spirit to follow the example of Jesus, as he learns to love his wife as Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:25).
I can honestly say that most of the things I wanted to nag about have happened anyway – not in my timing (I’ve had to learn patience), but they always get done – eventually — without me ever saying a word. If I get desperate, I take it to the Lord in prayer, and God either gives me the grace to wait patiently, or somehow He gives a gentle nudge to my husband, because it always works out, without arguments, fireworks, grudges, and stress in the marriage.
It really works!! Silence is golden. Every battle in your marriage can be won without words! The little bit of hidden annoyance you endure while keeping silent, is worth the peace that your home will enjoy – and the task will eventually be accomplished anyway (or you will discover that maybe it wasn’t really that important after all!) Let it go, and enjoy some peace!
You can do it!!! Let me know how it’s working for you!
Won Without Words by Shari Popejoy is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at blog.wonwithoutwords.com.
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