Won Without Words
winning the marriage you desire through wisdom

Shari Popejoy


May 23, 2011

Tip #91 Earning And Building Trust

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Written by: Shari Popejoy
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Tip #91:  A trust bestowed freely, yet lost, must be earned back by repeated acts of trustworthiness.

Ever heard the phrase, “Respect must be earned”?

Well — it’s a false statement — at least in Biblical terms as it relates to husbands and wives!

“However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”  Ephesians 5:33

Hmmm. . . not a suggestion. Not a multiple choice option.  Pretty much a command.  Yep!

Now. . . on the other hand. . . trust must be earned.  We give it freely as a gift, but when our trust is betrayed, it is broken — evaporated like the mist, gone with the wind of broken promises.

Can it be earned back? Absolutely — but broken trust is only built back with repeated acts of trustworthiness, one kept promise at a time.

Trust is an essential element in marriage.  If your husband has lost your trust, yet seeks to rebuild your confidence in him, you must give him the opportunity, with accountability if necessary.

Forgiveness, on the other hand, does not have to be earned. . . it is a free gift that we bestow when asked.

We forgive freely. We respect willingly and obediently, and we trust. . . in faith. . .until time proves. . . trustworthiness.

Consider that perhaps you have been the breaker of trust, too. Maybe he doesn’t trust you with the finances, or perhaps he doesn’t trust you to honor him because you have spoken critically of him in public, or maybe he’s learned that you don’t value his opinion. If you have lost his trust in any way, begin today to build that back not by apology. . . but by repeated actions that prove you are trustworthy, too.

I trust that you can build trust in your marriage again!


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Won Without Words by Shari Popejoy is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.

Based on a work at blog.wonwithoutwords.com.

Permissions beyond the scope of this license may be available at http://www.injoyinc.com/.

About the Author

Shari Popejoy
Shari Popejoy is the author of the book Won Without Words, and the blog Won Without Words, encouragement to wives. She writes the Livingstone Library, an adventure series for young people, and the blog Oh Joy!, (injoyinc.com/oh/) for busy moms. She is a frequent contributor to Christian print and online magazines, and writes from the quiet country of the Ozarks, where she lives with her husband, Marc, and their three children. You can find out all about her at sharipopejoy.com!


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