Won Without Words
winning the marriage you desire through wisdom

Shari Popejoy


May 28, 2011

Tip #96 Are You A Carrier?

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Written by: Shari Popejoy
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“This very day the Persian and Median women of the nobility who have heard about the queen’s conduct will respond to all the king’s nobles in the same way. There will be no end of disrespect and discord.” Esther 1:18

So Queen Vashti became. . . an example. . . of what happens to bad queens who disrespect their husband. . . because if not. . . there will be no end of disrespect and discord in all the houses of the kingdom — that’s what the town fathers knew. . . from experience.

Why? Because disrespect is a cancer. . . no. . . it is more like a plague. Cancer is not contagious. Its ravages are limited to one body, whereas the plague is no respecter of age, gender, social class or bank account.  Exposed to the bacteria, the body is affected, and the illness ravages the systems of the body. Without treatment, a high rate of death is the result among infected victims.

Remember Typhoid Mary?

Disclaimer: the following bracketed info, although incredibly interesting to those of you studying for your next match of Trivial Pursuit, or for those hoping to be a contestant on  ‘Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader’, could be skipped or skimmed over by everyone else!

[Typhoid Mary was a healthy woman, who’d never had typhoid, and self-righteously ignored the warnings of the doctors, even after fifty-three clean, healthy, affluent people got sick (and three died) — always just after she began to work in their kitchen as a cook.

For typhoid bacteria cannot be easily cleansed from the hands, and a carrier will continue to indiscriminately, infect anyone (or anything) she touches.  The victim doesn’t even have to speak to her, touch her, recognize her face, or know her name.

She refused to stop working in positions where she could infect people, and was eventually arrested and held in isolation for three years until she was released by a Health Commissioner, because she promised not to work as a cook again.  But, five years later, she was believed to have infected twenty-five people (one of which died) when she took a kitchen position at a woman’s hospital. She was discovered and quarantined in isolation for the last 23 years of her life because she refused to recognize her lethal and potent power on innocent people.

Unfortunately her deadly effect was not negated because of her ignorance, but it was highly magnified because of her pride. Upon her death, an autopsy revealed live typhoid bacteria growing and reproducing in her gallbladder, slowly continuing to equip her to be a typhoid fever factory.]

Although Typhoid Mary had never had the disease, it is suspected that she obtained the bacteria when her mother contracted the disease while pregnant with Mary. . . Before her birth, Mary was destined to become a disease-laden, curse-infested carrier of death and destruction, but her refusal to accept her own hazardous effects upon innocent people, caused her to continue to be an ever-increasing risk to the innocent people within her reach, and eventually led to her losing her freedom.

Can you recognize the disease of disrespect that you might be carrying? It’s not your fault. Your mother, Eve, was infested with the disease of sin, and it grows within each of us, incubating, germinating, waiting to infect the innocent people that we are supposed to serve. You can’t see it, and you might not even recognize that you are a carrier. You might arrogantly claim that you’ve never been sick with such a vile and foul disease that only affects the slovenly. Nevertheless, you are a carrier of sin, for all have sinned.

Have you ever found yourself the percolator of pride, the broadcaster of the bitter bacteria of slander, the disseminator of disrespect, a carrier of criticism and contempt? Maybe, like Queen Vashti, you’ve even sown the seeds of disrespect and discord in your own home.

It could be as simple as the tone of voice when you speak to your children as you say, “Well, your father. . . it could be an eye roll when he speaks. . . it could be the blatant disregard of his instructions and desires as you align yourself with your children to spurn his wishes and rules.

Your disrespect may infect and breed destruction in your children. Annihilate the disease. Inoculate yourself with wisdom. . . get the vaccine of victorious living. . .the antibiotic of atonement in order to preserve and protect your household against the deadly and destructive disease of disrespect.

Tip #96:  Disrespect begets disrespect

I humbly ask that you lay aside any animosity you might feel for me when I point out your contamination — please don’t be a Typhoid Mary, and deny your effect! I’m not saying that you alone possess  the germ of disease — for I carry it, too. Soap and water are ineffective in cleansing my heart and tongue. Why must I be heated in the fire of adversity before I release the dross of deadly disease? Why do I hold on to the blatant bacteria of belligerence?

Please humble yourself and pray with me as we ask God to reveal the hidden sources of disease that lie active within our hearts, waiting to contaminate those we love. Let’s hide the truth of God’s word in our heart that we might not continue to sin against Him.

“Give everyone what you owe him: If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor.” Romans 13:7

“However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” Ephesians 5:33

Show proper respect to everyone: Love the brotherhood of believers, fear God, honor the king.” I Peter 2:17

I respect you enough to tell you the truth, and I respectfully ask you to consider these verses!



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Won Without Words by Shari Popejoy is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at blog.wonwithoutwords.com.
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About the Author

Shari Popejoy
Shari Popejoy is the author of the book Won Without Words, and the blog Won Without Words, encouragement to wives. She writes the Livingstone Library, an adventure series for young people, and the blog Oh Joy!, (injoyinc.com/oh/) for busy moms. She is a frequent contributor to Christian print and online magazines, and writes from the quiet country of the Ozarks, where she lives with her husband, Marc, and their three children. You can find out all about her at sharipopejoy.com!


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