In the Proverbs 31 For The Average Woman Series, we’ve been studying Proverbs 31:17.

She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms. Proverbs 31:17

Please review the previous studies about this verse to find out how women can be proactive in making themselves strong. Proactive is the opposite of reactive.

It is possible to go through life as a victim, merely reacting to the voices and actions of others. Some people think that the Biblical teaching of submission is a reactive theology. NOT TRUE! It takes incredible strength, discipline, courage, and intentional practices of daily self-control to intellectually choose to submit.

While women are soft and pliable, adjustable and flexible, God did not intend for you to be weak and helpless, a double-minded leaf, blown along with the wind of whims tossed about in a sea of circumstances.

He gave you a beautiful picture of a strong woman as a mentor and role model in Proverbs 31!

The Proverbs 31 Woman is confident. She has a ‘can do’ spirit. She speaks truth in her ‘self-talk‘ — you know — those voices in your head that you don’t admit are talking, arguing, vying for attention ALL the time.

(Men don’t understand, and psychiatrists have a term for it, but we women know all about the voices in our head!) They never stop! Sometimes the voice is our mother, our friends, ‘them’ — whomever ‘them’ is, the mean girls — voices of shame from the past, voices of fear from the future — voices that tear us down instead of building us up.

Men don’t understand it because they can actually be thinking — nothing! It’s true! Ask your husband what he’s thinking right now! 🙂

You should never listen to voices that speak lies, discouragement, negative, unwholesome thoughts. You know what I mean. Perhaps you have heard some of these voices in your own head:

“You’re pathetic.”

“You’re fat.”

“You’re a mess.”

“You’re lazy.”

“You’re hateful.”

“You’re worthless.”

. . . Do you know where those thoughts come from? They are hissed by the father of lies, and sometimes we listen to the lies and repeat them over and over to ourselves.


Clothe yourself (gird up your loins) instead with the truth. Ephesians 4:29 is a wonderful verse that could be a motto for our spoken words, but since from the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh (Matt 12:34) , let’s consider how it would sound if we applied the verse to our thoughts:

Do not let any unwholesome talk [be spoken in your thoughts] but only what is helpful for building [yourself] up according to [your] needs, that it may benefit [you]. Ephesians 4:29

Perhaps the Proverbs 31 Woman writes these words on her mirror, clips them to her visor, mouths them over and over again throughout the day:

I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. Philippians 4:13

I am bought with a price. I Cor 6:20

I am fearfully and wonderfully made Psalms 139:14

There is no condemnation Romans 8:1

In Him we live and move and have our being Acts 17:28

The power of life and death is in the tongue (Prov 18:21). Hopefully you would never speak disparaging or hurtful words over your children or husband.

You would never say to them:

“You’re a loser.”

“I hate you.”

“You are a failure.”

“You will never amount to anything.”

The reason you would never say that to your children, is because you realize the importance of words, and the attitudes of the heart that they represent. You realize that people believe what you say and live up (or down) to your expectations of them.

Likewise, you MUST NEVER speak hurtful or destructive words to yourself — even in your own mind. If necessary, go to the mirror and look at your reflection and say, “I love you. You are a beautiful creation, made for a special purpose. There are wonderful things that only you can do. No one can love your husband or children as much as you can. You have an important job to do today. Through Christ you can do all things.”

Now, turn away from the mirror, and replace the you’s with I’s! I am beautiful. I am bought with a price. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. God loves ME!

It’s true!

And here is my prayer for you, dear, precious woman. I hope you read it today in your devotions: Ephesians 3:14-21


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Won Without Words by Shari Popejoy is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.

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