We’ve decided to use Saturdays for tending our vineyard — code for exploring the wonderful and bewildering world of the differences in the way men and women approach intimacy, in an effort to bring understanding and satisfaction into a relationship that God decreed should be “Very Good.

I don’t know if you’ve noticed it or not, but men and women are different! 😀

He craves physical intimacy. You desire emotional intimacy. And when each serves the other in love, somehow the needs of each are met, and there is indescribable and beautiful union, connection, intimacy, and LOVE.

So what’s the difference between physical and emotional?

Well, one is primarily of the body, the other relates to the feelings, and it takes both to connect with another in the intimacy of sexual union.

Consider this phrase that could be said two different ways using the same words.

“Be with me.”

Now you could put the emphasis on the word “be”.

BE with me”.

Or you could put the emphasis on the word “with”.

“Be WITH me.”

For the first phrase, the emphasis is on BE, the verb, the action word. Think male here.

In the second phrase, the emphasis is on WITH, the preposition, which is a word that comes BEFORE a noun to form a phrase, a preparation word. Think female here.

He just wants to BE with you.

You just want to be WITH him.

Men and women approach intimacy kind of like a phrase that can be said two different ways.

He wants to be.

You want with.

But when you both are speaking the same language, then it is a powerful coming together of two people to become one in love and understanding and mutual enjoyment and satisfaction.

Now, don’t bother trying to explain this to him. His eyes will glaze over, and his enjoyment in the moment will be lost forever, because he wants ACTION — forget the PREPARATION, and he doesn’t necessarily have to understand it!.

It’s enough for you to understand it, and for you to develop strategies, as the wife, as the PREPOSITION, the one who goes before, to prepare the way, to understand, and to facilitate.

Find ways to be WITH him, that prepare you to BE amazingly adoringly awesomely with him.

Don’t expect me to tell you what that is! It is unique and wonderful for each couple, as you make your own time of love expression – creating an emotional and physical connection that expresses your powerful love in a ‘nothin’ like it nowhere’ experience — together!

So, go be with him today,

Shari