Won Without Words
winning the marriage you desire through wisdom
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Shari Popejoy




Husband

September 10, 2011
 

Saturday Grapevine: Reaction vs. Response

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Written by: Shari Popejoy
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Instead of reacting to him today, try responding to him!

It’s subtle, but powerful.

Reaction causes distance (to every action there is an equal but opposite reaction), response creates intimacy. As subtle as the difference between fission and fusion, it pays to understand this important scientific principle of the difference between reaction and response!

FISSION is the act of cleaving, or splitting into parts.

Cleaving as in meat cleaver — that huge hacking chopping axe of a knife. . . .

Nuclear fission is the splitting of a nucleus of an atom, with the RELEASE OF ENERGY.

Woosh!

Remember the atomic bomb? Mushroom cloud of disaster. Divorce is an act of fission. The only fission that should be going on in marriage is biological fission, the division of an organism into a new organism as in reproduction!

On the other hand, there is FUSION, from the Latin fusio, the pouring out, melting, combining of parts together into one. Fusion also means cleaving, but not in the hacking cleaver sort of way, but in the cleaving of Genesis 2:24:

“A man shall leave his father and mother and shall cleave unto his wife, and they shall be one flesh.”

The two shall pour themselves into each other in such a way that the marriage reflects a new creation, a blending of talents and gifts into a new entity that never existed before, so well infused that the parts can never be separated, a new melded material of matter too awesome to be listed on the periodic table of elements!

But when you react to him, it creates cleaving as of a meat cleaver. . . separation, a gory mangling, bloody mess that results in pain and loss. Fission. Division. Separation. Divorce.

Conversely, when you respond to him, then there is a unity, a wooing, an intricate dance of desire that culminates in intimate intermingling of interesting and immense implosions! Fusion. Unity. Intimacy. Cleaving.

To every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. If you react to his anger with your own hostility or resistance, or fuming silence, or even passive aggression — there will be a reaction of fission, a separation of the elements that make up your marital relationship — and instead of coming together, you will be torn apart.

On the other hand, if you respond with a soft answer, there is a coming together, a fusing of hearts, a tender overlooking of faults, a love that covers a multitude of sins, intimacy, restoration, and a purifying refining of the precious qualities that make up your marriage — your blending together of unique properties — a beautiful shining gold, a valuable and rare treasure.

Respond to him today!

Shari

Creative Commons License

Won Without Words by Shari Popejoy is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.

Based on a work at blog.wonwithoutwords.com.

Permissions beyond the scope of this license may be available at http://www.injoyinc.com/.



About the Author

Shari Popejoy
Shari Popejoy is the author of the book Won Without Words, and the blog Won Without Words, encouragement to wives. She writes the Livingstone Library, an adventure series for young people, and the blog Oh Joy!, (injoyinc.com/oh/) for busy moms. She is a frequent contributor to Christian print and online magazines, and writes from the quiet country of the Ozarks, where she lives with her husband, Marc, and their three children. You can find out all about her at sharipopejoy.com!



sharipopejoy.com

 
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