Won Without Words
winning the marriage you desire through wisdom

Shari Popejoy


September 9, 2011


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Written by: Shari Popejoy
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My husband sent me a text the other day with the subject line JTAY. I’m not sure if this is a standard acronym recognized in the New World Texting Dictionary. . . or if it’s something the teens are using as they text these days. . .

And it’s not the Ozarks equivalent of Je t’aime, the French phrase for I love you.

He probably just made it up. It was a simple message. JTAY, an acronym for, “Just Thinking About You.”

He does that a lot these days. Just thinking about me. I’m not sure why. I’m older than I’ve ever been. The number on the scale is higher than it’s ever been. I flap and flop in places that have never been. And if possible, I’m a bit more contrary and cantankerous and introspective than I’ve ever been.

And yet I’m thought of more by him now — than I’ve ever been.

Maybe I’m on his mind more because I’ve gained a few secrets (along with the years, the wrinkles, and the pounds). For, I’m also more respectful, more loving, and more responsive to him than I’ve ever been. I’m more patient with his differences and his needs than I’ve ever been. I’m more open and willing to be available to just be with him than I’ve ever been. And I don’t take it personal anymore when he’s cranky or impatient or when he flails his sword and it swishes dangerously close to me while he’s fighting invisible enemies.

And perhaps herein lies the secret. It doesn’t matter what I look like, or how I dress, or how accomplished I am, or whether I even clean the house or have dinner on the table when he gets home.

If I greet him with love, tenderness, respect, and appreciation when he needs it, and if I’m a safe place to rest from the warfare, then I am the most attractive woman in the world to him, and he can’t stop thinking about me!

And this is a relief for us as we grow in age and wisdom, ladies! Make yourself beautiful to him from the resources you treasure within, and it becomes more important than the outer beauty (which can’t help but reflect your true inner beauty).

You are beautiful. There is a beauty and attraction within you that he needs and desires, and craves and longs for, that has little to do with the outer appearance. Can you believe that you have within you the ability to meet his deepest desires, unvoiced needs, unmet cravings? It’s true. God designed you to be the completion of your husband, and when you both come together in unity and love, God sighs a deep breath of contentment, and says, “It is very good.” And that makes you very beautiful in ALL ways!

Spend some time just thinking about your husband today. JTAY is very powerful!

Oh, and it works both ways. Try an experiment. Send your husband a JTAY message today; let him know that you can’t stop thinking about him today — and be willing to live with the consequences!

JTAY Marc!


About the Author

Shari Popejoy
Shari Popejoy is the author of the book Won Without Words, and the blog Won Without Words, encouragement to wives. She writes the Livingstone Library, an adventure series for young people, and the blog Oh Joy!, (injoyinc.com/oh/) for busy moms. She is a frequent contributor to Christian print and online magazines, and writes from the quiet country of the Ozarks, where she lives with her husband, Marc, and their three children. You can find out all about her at sharipopejoy.com!


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