As promised, (see earlier post) here are three things you can do every day to make sure you get roses next Valentines Day (if you decide that you really want them after all!).

1.  Praise him for his manliness.  Discover whatever it is that makes him feel strong and masculine — and make sure that he knows that you admire him for being a man.  Need some ideas?  Admire him for fixing things, providing for the family, success in his career, athletics, sensitivity, his love for you.  Come on ladies, it could be as simple as oohing and awing over that spider that he squashed or the mouse trap he emptied (of course you have to be convincing and sincere — he can smell your fake as easily as you can smell his  — manliness!).  If you like for him to notice your new outfit, think how much he likes to be admired, too.

2.  Respect him.  Show that you value him for something that he values.  Let him know that the things that interest him are important and valuable, and that he is unique and interesting for the things that he does. You don’t want him to diminish the things you cherish, and he deserves the same regard.

3.  Respond to him physically. Or, initiate a physical ‘altercation’ — whether this is simply a hug, a more-than-a-peck kiss, a back rub, an intimate brush as you pass him in the hall, a fond caress, a playful wrestling match — somehow you need to connect with him physically every day.

Now, I know some of you are saying.  “Great ideas.  Him first.”  The beauty of marriage, is that even though it is comprised of two people, it is a covenant, where two become one.  Change can occur when only one party moves.  I can’t guarantee it with 100% accuracy, because God has given the gift of choice to every person — and sometimes people choose wrongly.  But, if you couple these actions with faith and prayer, I believe that ‘mountains can be moved’, and your husband’s heart will be moved toward you, as you ‘stretch out’ to him.   (Read the Stretching Out portion of The WORK of Marriage posts).

Don’t give up.  You can’t say it doesn’t work, until Valentines Day 2012!

And who knows, maybe every day between now and then could be a romantic holiday!

Shari

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