Won Without Words
winning the marriage you desire through wisdom
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Shari Popejoy




Husband

January 7, 2012
 

Saturday Grapevine; Get Outta The Rut!

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Written by: Shari Popejoy
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If you’re new to the blog, we use our Saturdays for something we call the Saturday Grapevine, where we tend our marital vineyard by concentrating on considering intimacy. We invite wives to check out the previous posts, and to enjoy some lighthearted encouragement in matters of emotional and physical intimacy!

With our nicely paved asphalt and concrete surfaced highways, it might have been awhile since you were in a rut.

In fact, other than using it as a sorta outdated figure of speech, you might not have used that term in awhile.

Granddad used to say that a rut was a grave with a ditch on each end.

Basically a rut is a groove worn by many other travelers, who stayed in the exact tracks of each other, wearing a trail in the road, a boundary that the other travelers followed for convenience and habit.

A rut is just the normal course you drift into when you’re not really thinking about how you’re traveling. . . as you daydream and just keep on keeping on and get on down, get on down the road.

So, let’s just continue the metaphor of a road trip and talk about getting out of the rut.

If you’ve been married for awhile, there is a sort of rhythm that comfortably married folks get into. This gives us comfort and security to know what to expect. And it’s great for household chores and family roles and duties. . . but perhaps it’s not so interesting when it comes to marital intimacy.

And who’s complaining? That part of life might be satisfying and desirable, and why change a good thing?

That’s predictably true! But, it can be really fun to just shake things up a bit! Do something completely unexpected today that will make him gasp with amazement! Be creative and fun! Do something that will make him chuckle. Or really make him laugh (not at you, but with you :D). Show him that you can still surprise him after all these years!

Now, you might be thinking, “That’s easy for you to say, but my mind is a total blank right now. I’m stuck in a rut!”

But let’s just brainstorm for a couple minutes to give us all some momentum to make that lurch and pull ourselves out of the rut. . . and then I’ll leave the rest to your own personal discretion — and imagination!!

Hmmm. . . well, to get out of a rut, you will have to change positions. And then you will need to change locations. And it might be a bumpy ride for awhile, but you will establish your own unique rhythm. Speaking of rhythm, find a fun song to create a mood. Maybe rock and roll — speaking of roll — role play . . . that might be fun! Speaking of play. . . have fun together. Celebrate each other. Wow him with the beauty that you alone possess.

Create your own language of love — ooh, that might be fun — speak with accents, or maybe don’t speak at all — just use sign language — or the language of loooooove. Okay, that’s all I got for now, but I think it’s enough to get our creativity going!

Have a great day!

photo credit



About the Author

Shari Popejoy
Shari Popejoy is the author of the book Won Without Words, and the blog Won Without Words, encouragement to wives. She writes the Livingstone Library, an adventure series for young people, and the blog Oh Joy!, (injoyinc.com/oh/) for busy moms. She is a frequent contributor to Christian print and online magazines, and writes from the quiet country of the Ozarks, where she lives with her husband, Marc, and their three children. You can find out all about her at sharipopejoy.com!



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