Won Without Words
winning the marriage you desire through wisdom
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Shari Popejoy




Husband

January 15, 2012
 

Saturday Grapevine; For Women Only

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Written by: Shari Popejoy
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WARNING!

Saturday Grapevine is for women only. In fact, it’s designed for wives only. If you are a lovely woman who is seeking the natural and beautiful state of Genesis 2:25, then you are at the right place!

And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. Genesis 2:25

And it’s okay if you don’t read the Saturday Grapevine — just avoid Saturdays altogether unless you are desiring the epitome of  naked and unashamed :D! Or if you want to know more — check out the previous posts in the Saturday Grapevine category listed on the right column!

But I have a feeling that you’re here because you’re not the type to be easily offended or gasp in prudish alarm when you hear the word s#x! :D You want to have a healthy and whole approach to all areas of your life, including this tantalizing and tempestuous tango of sexuality in the sometimes deliciously despicable dance of intricate moves and intimate clutches in the dizzying  world-spinning waltz of marriage.

I promise I won’t get any more graphic than Song of Solomon when we talk about the holy and intimate love shared between a man and a woman! – Sacred yes, because marriage is the union that typifies Christ and the Church — and we better understand sexuality, or we’ll be entangled in frigid fidelity in EVERY area of our life, including our spirituality.

It is a great mystery!

It is extremely important to understand this great mystery of intimacy, to get it right, to not be turned away by frustration, or give up in despair, or wallow in self-pity, shame or misunderstanding. So, if you’re frustrated in your sexuality, or if you’re tired of trying, or feel like you’ve wasted your wishes — don’t give up. There is much to be gained in continuing to learn. That might be why God made marriage as the longest-lasting, closest relationship we’ll probably have in this life — to give us time to get it right!

I suspect that the single most effective way to reveal areas of spiritual growth needed in a Christian wife is through our sexuality. Some women seek psychoanalysis to help explain what their mother did to ruin them. Or they join self-help groups and read lots of books to find out where their father failed. But to really take the fast lane to discover our hang-ups in life, just head to the bedroom.

If there is an underlying pain, an old emotional scar, a deep fear or trauma — it will eventually work itself out in the bedroom — or cause more problems. Now when I say work itself out — I don’t mean that it will miraculously disappear — I mean that it will work itself to the surface — like a festering splinter — it might get painfully messy, demanding your attention, or creating a poisonous putrid mess that must be addressed.

Some things can lie buried beneath the surface for years. . . some begin to fester and the pain and infection must be dealt with, or it will cause worse problems.

The marital bed is unfailing in its ability to reveal:

  • our biggest vulnerabilities
  • our selfishness, (sometimes veiled as self consciousness)
  • our pride
  • our false humility (sometimes veiled as shyness or reserve)
  • our self-righteousness (veiled as false spirituality)
  • our unforgiveness (veiled as contempt)
  • our hidden sins (revealing the need for repentance)

It will also reveal our greatest gifts:

  • love
  • kindness
  • sharing
  • gentleness
  • patience
  • joy
  • (long-suffering:-)

In fact, the Fruit of the Spirit should be evident in the marital bed! We could solve a lot of problems by teaching Christian wives to exhibit the Fruit of the Spirit in their sexuality — perhaps all our marriage problems could be solved with a bowl of fruit! :D

If your marital sexuality is a painful reminder of past failures — leaving you feeling inadequate and insufficient — there is hope. God said that marriage is VERY GOOD! He designed the intimacy of marriage to be a great gift. He knows the answer to your deepest desires and hidden needs, and He wants you and your husband to discover together how to express your love to each other — in both physical and emotional ways.

Don’t be afraid to pray about this area of your marriage — God knows all about it!

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About the Author

Shari Popejoy
Shari Popejoy is the author of the book Won Without Words, and the blog Won Without Words, encouragement to wives. She writes the Livingstone Library, an adventure series for young people, and the blog Oh Joy!, (injoyinc.com/oh/) for busy moms. She is a frequent contributor to Christian print and online magazines, and writes from the quiet country of the Ozarks, where she lives with her husband, Marc, and their three children. You can find out all about her at sharipopejoy.com!



sharipopejoy.com

 
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