Won Without Words
winning the marriage you desire through wisdom

Shari Popejoy


March 3, 2012

Love Is Not Doing

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Written by: Shari Popejoy
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Do you think your husband loves you for all the things you do for him?

You do the housework.  You do the childcare — you even did the labor and delivery for him!  You do the laundry.  You do the grocery shopping.  You do the family things like birthdays, Christmas, social gatherings, etc.  You do the paperwork.  You bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan.

And does he even appreciate it?  Does he ever say “Thank you”?  Does he love you more because you are a glorified maid and nanny?  Do you think he just appreciates all the money you save him on hired help?

You could make a list of all the things you do for him, and it’s not going to make him gaze tenderly into your eyes and whisper sweet adorable things to you.  That’s not the reason he fell in love with you. . . if that were the case. . . he would be in love with his mother.

He loves you because of all the things you are.  He doesn’t want you to do anything.  He wants you to be everything that he learned to love.

Today, schedule a visit with that girl he fell in love with.  As you sit with her for a quiet moment, figure out what it was that drew him to that young woman.  It might surprise you to learn that he loved her giggle, or the way she teased him, or the way she was so soft and tender and subtle.  Or he might have loved the way she listened to him, and thought he could do no wrong, or sat on his lap, or brought him homemade cookies at work during breaktime. . . and then sat there chatting while he ate them.

Make a list of three things you think he loved about you then. . . . and then be one of them today!

  1. ____________________
  2. ____________________
  3. ____________________

Pour another cuppa

  1. Ponder, is it easier to do or to be?
  2. Do you like what all your doing has caused you to become?
  3. How can you create a balance between all the things you have to do, and still be the lovely women you were created to be?

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About the Author

Shari Popejoy
Shari Popejoy is the author of the book Won Without Words, and the blog Won Without Words, encouragement to wives. She writes the Livingstone Library, an adventure series for young people, and the blog Oh Joy!, (injoyinc.com/oh/) for busy moms. She is a frequent contributor to Christian print and online magazines, and writes from the quiet country of the Ozarks, where she lives with her husband, Marc, and their three children. You can find out all about her at sharipopejoy.com!


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