Have you pondered our last challenge on this 100 Days to a Greater Marriage:
“Love is Not Doing, but Being. . .”
Doing is an action verb — doing chores, doing work, doing good deeds.
Being is a helping verb indicating a passive voice — in other words, a state of mind, or state of activity. . . being helpful, being kind, being stubborn, being completely adorable and lovable.
Obviously, if you love someone, you will be found doing things for them. Love expresses itself in action. You should do things for those you love. You should find ways to express your love for other people.
However, you must agree that just doing valuable things is not equal with being valuable.
Here’s an example. Let’s say you have fond memories of your grandmother making you hot chocolate and putting marshmallows on top of the steaming mug, setting it before you, sitting across from you, and giving you a loving smile — while she chats, and you wait for it to cool enough to sip. Does this sweet memory evoke the same feelings as when the waitress at the waffle house sloshes and slides your mug of hot cocoa across the diner counter? Of course not. The memory is priceless. The mug of hot cocoa from the waitress — well, it’s worth about $2.
Grandma was being sweet and kind and loving and warm and embracing. . . and whatever memories you have of your particular grandmother. The waitress is doing her job.
In the same way, we can spend forty-five minutes fixing breakfast for that man, and he better appreciate it or else. . . and we’re doing our duty. Or we can pour him a bowl of cold cereal, serve it with a loving smile, a kind word, an adoring kiss, and we are being . . . completely beautiful, charming, and appealing in his eyes. Or better yet, skip the food altogether and serve breakfast in bed, and you will be on his mind all day ;).
It’s not about what you do, but about who you are. Be what he loves today.
“Be all that you can be!”
Pour a mug of hot cocoa and sit a spell with me across the counter — across the miles, and maybe complete one of these extras.
- What are some ways you just do things for your husband? How can you change it up, and be different while doing those same things?
- Read James 2:17-26. Love is empty, if only expressed in words, and not followed up by actions.
- Jot James 2:17 and 2:22 in your journal. If you love your husband, what things can you do to show him? If you love your husband, what are some additional things you can be to show him that love?
- Perhaps the actions that are most important in showing love are not action verbs, but are the helping verbs: be, being, been, am, are, is, was, were. Write a few sentences using some of these words to demonstrate how you hope to be toward your husband today!