Won Without Words
winning the marriage you desire through wisdom

Shari Popejoy


March 28, 2012

The Push My Buttons Kind Of Guy

Today’s Challenge: Don’t Forget Your Husband is a Man!

I guess you’ve probably known the difference between boys and girls since you were five! :D

And obviously, I don’t have to tell you that your husband is a different gender. . . maybe a different species it might seem!  From a different planet?! (John Gray’s best-seller ‘Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus’ is an interesting book!)

He’s not the boy you married.  He’s a man.  Look at him — his broad shoulders, his work-roughened hands, his whiskers graying at the corners.  He’s a man who wants to love a woman.  He wants a woman to respond with love and devotion — and excitement, to his advances, his needs, his caresses.

He’s more than a paycheck — more than a light bulb-changing, spider-squashing, lawn-mowing, gutter-cleaning, honey-do, handyman.

He’s not just our husband — to control, to manipulate, to use for our needs.  He is a man with hopes and dreams, failings and feelings.

Yes, there is a familiarity (that breeds contempt if we don’t exercise holy caution), but we don’t own him.  Even though we applied for a license — it is not a deed-of-sale!  Marital property does not extend to include human flesh! We are free individuals joined by honor, love, commitment — tenuous ties, brittle breaths of a bond.

Marriage is the symbolic beating of one heart in one flesh, with two bodies. We must beware though, it’s not like the total dependence of an unborn babe on its mother, because if the bond of marriage is ever severed, our heart keeps beating, rhythmic staccatos in an upright corpse, to remind us that we are alive alone.  Marriage is tender, fragile, sensitive.  Your love must be protected, and never despised.

Our husband has a whole life separate from us, but when we come together — oh, glorious chemical reaction!  Yes, maybe he can be amazingly annoying, frustratingly unfeeling, excruciatingly aloof, and extraordinarily ornery – but usually not on purpose, and thankfully not all the time!

He’s a man — oh, glorious creation — to be the counterpart, the completer, the catalyst for a chemical reaction of skyrocketing proportions to you, his woman! He’s not your sister, your girlfriend, your counselor.  He is your man, your husband, your partner, your push-my-buttons kind of guy!

Vive la difference!  (And love that man today!)

  1. Consider — are there ways that you treat your husband like a girlfriend — and maybe you should just get some girlfriends instead?!
  2. In your journal, jot down three things that attracted you to your husband. Are some of the things that attracted you, some of the same things that annoy you today?!
  3. List five ways that your husband acts like a man — that impresses you! Reflect on that today, and make your man feel like a man tonight!

photo credit

About the Author

Shari Popejoy
Shari Popejoy is the author of the book Won Without Words, and the blog Won Without Words, encouragement to wives. She writes the Livingstone Library, an adventure series for young people, and the blog Oh Joy!, (injoyinc.com/oh/) for busy moms. She is a frequent contributor to Christian print and online magazines, and writes from the quiet country of the Ozarks, where she lives with her husband, Marc, and their three children. You can find out all about her at sharipopejoy.com!


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