Won Without Words
winning the marriage you desire through wisdom

Shari Popejoy


March 30, 2012

“Hi, My Name Is Shari, And I’m A ____”

On this one hundred day journey to a greater marriage, today’s tip might be a heavy load!

Do not be afraid to confess your faults and shoulder the blame.  Restoration begins with accountability.

Yesterday we talked about not blaming others.  Today we embrace blame — our own.

Confess your faults one to another, and pray for one another, that ye may be healed.  James 5:16

Confession is the first step toward change.  Twelve-step programs to overcome life controlling issues begin with acknowledging the problem.  “Hi, my name is Joe, and I’m a ____(fill in the blank).

Let’s be brave enough to acknowledge that we have a fault, and look for a solution.  Who better to help us overcome our faults than our loving husband?  If we don’t currently have a close relationship, where we feel comfortable sharing our faults, then maybe this is a good place to start!

Even a husband who is normally timid to pray, will be glad to pray that God will help us overcome nagging or laziness!

But, don’t walk around super sorry all the time, taking blame for everything.  That’s just plain annoying. ;)

“I’m sorry the sun isn’t shining today (as if we had any control over the weather).

“I’m sorry about that earthquake or third-world hunger issues.”  We all are.

Don’t take blame for things that aren’t your fault, otherwise it diminishes the fact that you are at fault in some things  — so are we all. Let’s be real and tackle one issue at a time.

Realize that we are all dust, all striving for the grace of God:

As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us.  Like as a father pitieth his children, so the Lord pitieth them that fear him.  For he knoweth our frame; He remembereth that we are dust.  Psalm 103:12-14

When we have wronged someone, the first step to reconciliation is to acknowledge, confess, and change.  You can do it!! Grit your teeth, stand up, square your shoulders, and state, “Hi, my name is ____ . . . “!

Some more heavy cargo to add to the load! Don’t worry — you have strong shoulders!

  1. Confession is a crucial element of change. Confession is a familiar area for Christians! In fact, confession is one of the first requirements of salvation. Read Matthew 3:6 and Romans 10:9. If you are able to confess your sins to God, then in humility we can confess our faults to our husband.
  2. Journal Jotting: write down two areas where you would like to improve, along with an explanation of how it would improve your marriage. Pray and ask God for the humility and grace to approach your husband to ask for pray in this area.
  3. How do you think your husband will react when you confess your faults? Write down your fears or concerns in your journal. Now, go to him in a quiet and tender moment and confess a fault. Write in your journal how he really reacted. Did reality match your expectations?

About the Author

Shari Popejoy
Shari Popejoy is the author of the book Won Without Words, and the blog Won Without Words, encouragement to wives. She writes the Livingstone Library, an adventure series for young people, and the blog Oh Joy!, (injoyinc.com/oh/) for busy moms. She is a frequent contributor to Christian print and online magazines, and writes from the quiet country of the Ozarks, where she lives with her husband, Marc, and their three children. You can find out all about her at sharipopejoy.com!


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