Is your husband withdrawn, aloof, preoccupied? Do you feel that you are invisible? Do you find yourself becoming hurt, offended, defensive, or angry by his insensitive treatment?
Today’s Marriage Challenge: Do not pout when your husband does not treat you in the way you expect or deserve. Instead turn aside to something you delight in. Let him know you are available when he is ready, but until then, you have important things to do. . . .
We women long for intimacy. It is hurtful when we feel like our husband doesn’t delight in us – every moment of every day! It is awful to feel like our own husband doesn’t seem to value, cherish or pursue us.
We take it personally – and how can we not take it personally when the man who is supposed to adore us — ignores us?
Well, here’s a different perspective. A man’s life contains many different seasons. Sometimes he is consumed with his education, and career, and providing for the family, and. . . at times he ignores you (kind of like how we ignored him when the babies came along!).
It is important that we learn to be patient with our husband, and that we give him time to learn to be a good husband and father. But meanwhile, and during the time when he is learning to be a good husband, there might be times of momentary loneliness. In those seasons, you should consider finding a hobby, learning a craft, taking some classes, doing some charity work — learning to play an instrument – anything that allows you to be creative and connected!
Now, here’s the catch. You don’t want to replace your husband with something else. The secret to success here is in making these activities conditional with if my husband is busy, then I’ll fill my time with this alternative activity. Don’t suddenly become the one who is too busy – just to show him how it feels! Select an activity that is flexible and fits in with your life schedule, allowing you to be available whenever your husband is.
Have fun with it. Share the joy with him. Let him know that you are happy, and fulfilled, and waiting for him, and longing for him, and happily patient until his heart turns toward you again.
Sometimes it’s lonely in marriage while you sit around waiting for him to notice you’re alive! It’s not fair, but it can be a natural part of the seasons of life – when you plan to live with the same man for forty to sixty years!
We will be happier and more content if we can accept reality and use this tip to enhance our life, instead of giving us an excuse to pout and whine.
Pouting causes wrinkles, and whining causes ulcers! So don’t do it!!
So if your husband is in a busy season, determine to have fun anyway. Find something that fits within your budget and lifestyle, and if you’d like to comment on something you have found that brings you joy on your own, come over and comment about it on the Facebook page. It might encourage a sister!
- When you have set aside the pouting, and found something fun to do, your attitude changes. With that changed attitude, plan something fun for your husband (that fits within his schedule). Show up at work with a one-minute pick-him-up!
- Send your husband a quick card or email letting him know that he is on your mind – and then you’ll be on his mind!