Last time I promised a look into an intimate and personal journal entry that I made years ago, when I was feeling lonely, abandoned, unsuccessful in my marriage. As you read this, you might identify with some of these feelings.
Someday I want to be married to a man who cherishes me, someone who loves the sound of my voice, and attunes his ears to my voice, wanting to catch each word as though it might contain a surprise or a bit of interest.
I want a husband who has a high regard for me, and for my thoughts, my desires, my dreams, and my special unique qualities.
I want a husband someday who is thoughtful toward me, as with a tender watchful eye to protect, treasure, and preserve me with tender kindness as though I were a valuable enhancement to his life.
Someday I hope to be the wife of a man who creates in me a sense of awe that he would choose me. I want my husband to bring tears to my eyes as I contemplate his great love for me, shown in his many kindnesses and tender care.
Someday I will have a husband who instead of disdain has a high regard for me, instead of seeing me as a burden, he views me as a blessing, instead of thinking how I drag him down, is amazed that I have the power to lift him up.
Someday my husband will gaze at me with loving, adoring eyes, instead of looking past me, or through me, or overlooking me altogether. Someday I will be seen for who I am through the eyes of love that see not the reality of the moment, but considers all the wonder of the present, the glory of the past, and the possibility of the future. Someday I will become all the things my husband believes I can be.
Someday I will be warmed by tenderness when just a hint of chill appears. Someday I won’t cry quietly and unheard into my pillow while lying next to an unheeding bedmate.
Someday I will be the solace that someone reaches for in the middle of the quiet darkness. Someday my sweet softness will be desired and delighted in. Someday I will hear my name whispered with tender longing and desire and I will welcome the sound.
Someday I hope you decide to be the one my heart longs for. . .
Sound familiar? Sound like a woman stretching out in longing for intimacy from her husband? I know the pain of a love that has dwindled into a smoldering coal. . . and I know the joy of that love being rekindled and bursting into a passionate flame of love again – a stronger, more mature, more perfect, more intimate love.
God designed marriage so that it would be an intimate companionship, so close that there would be no barriers, no shame, no need for coverings or anything that would get between the two. . . who were as one flesh. . . because she was taken from man (Genesis 2). God said of this blessed union, “It is very good.” Genesis 1:31.
Ideally, the marital union would consummate in a beautiful and mysterious physical and emotional union that symbolized the covenantal union, that would produce pleasure, joy, and complete and rapturous satisfaction. And the reward for this coming together, was a new creation, a wondrous combination of the two into one, a further symbolic representation and picture of what marriage truly was, when the marriage produced children.
We know that with the defective introduction of sin, came pain, death, disease, and corruption of the original pure design — and now there is pain, loneliness, sadness in marriage — this supposedly good gift.
Okay, okay, we admit it — it’s hard, painful, stretching us until we reach the breaking point — now what do we do to fix it?
Tell you next time! Don’t miss it!
Won Without Words by Shari Popejoy is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at blog.wonwithoutwords.com.
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