Won Without Words
winning the marriage you desire through wisdom

Shari Popejoy


May 10, 2012

Fear Attracts Loss

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Written by: Shari Popejoy
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Like math?  Can you put this into an equation?

Fear attracts loss.

Would it look something like this?

FEAR + X = 0

Try this one.  Fear repels. . . what you desire.

What you desire + FEAR = 0

What do you fear most?

If you fear it long enough, you will fear it strong enough. . . to lose it.

Do you fear losing your children?  Hold them so tight that they pull away from you.  OR, pull back from them first so it won’t hurt as bad. . . when they learn to live without you.


Do you desire emotional intimacy with your husband so much that you wall off your tender broken heart, pulling back from him physically in isolation and grief. . . which causes him to pull back emotionally from you?


The very thing you fear is what you must move toward. . . in love.  Your love, will override your fear, and you will be filled with the net increase of love, leaving no room for the fear.

You might be afraid of fire, but you would rush into a burning building to save your children.  You might be afraid of heights, but you would climb a tree to rescue your scared child.

Do you fear poverty?  Give something away.

Do you fear intimacy?  Be vulnerable with your husband.

Do you fear rejection?  Reach out to someone.

“There is no fear in love.  But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment.  The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”  I John 4:18

True love embraces the object of fear, thus allowing no room for the fear.  Fear must depart.  It’s kind like this:   “Submit yourselves, then, to God.  Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”  James 4:7

Let’s complete the equation as love cancels out fear.  It’s been a long time since Algebra, but I do remember that if you subtract an integer from both sides, the equation equals out.

Love + fear – fear = Perfection – fear

Love = Perfection – Fear

Stop being afraid, because it’s causing you to lose out on . . . something. Instead replace fear with love; love will drive out the fear and leave you with a perfected heart.

Your tip for today:  Subtract fear from your life.  Add some love to your equation today!  See what adds up in your marriage!

About the Author

Shari Popejoy
Shari Popejoy is the author of the book Won Without Words, and the blog Won Without Words, encouragement to wives. She writes the Livingstone Library, an adventure series for young people, and the blog Oh Joy!, (injoyinc.com/oh/) for busy moms. She is a frequent contributor to Christian print and online magazines, and writes from the quiet country of the Ozarks, where she lives with her husband, Marc, and their three children. You can find out all about her at sharipopejoy.com!


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