Won Without Words
winning the marriage you desire through wisdom

Shari Popejoy


May 26, 2012

Pain: A Pit Stop On The Road Of Love

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Written by: Shari Popejoy
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Today’s Marriage Tip :  Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable.  The cost of love and intimacy, is in being willing to give another person the power to hurt you, and yet not be so afraid of being crushed that you pull back in fear.

You cannot truly love if you are not vulnerable.

Ask a mother.

“Making a decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.” Elizabeth Stone

Pain is one way of knowing that you are alive.

Ask a mother!

I remember many of the insignificant moment of the days I gave birth. There was no doubt I was alive those days. . . the days between then and now have blurred, and I don’t remember what I had for breakfast on those many pain-free days!

In being vulnerable, we expose ourselves to the possibility of pain.

It is a very real threat, but one you must be willing to face if you choose to love. Pain and love go together in this fallen world.

The alternative to fully embracing the intimacy of love (and the possibility of pain)  is loneliness and isolation — safe and secure emotional celibacy.

Pain is one way of knowing you are in love. Not a self-destructive form of love of pain — that’s sick. But a realistic acknowledgment of the risks of love, and an intellectual choice to assume the risk for the resultant rewards — will bring pain at some point.

Love requires the sacrifice of accepting the possibility of the painful. “For God so loved the world that he gave. . . ” John 3:16)

In the giving, we also risk loss and pain. . . and immeasurable joy.

If I had not know the pain of childbirth, I would not be a mother today. If I had not known the fear of lost, I could not know the joy of being found. If I had not contemplated the crush of death, I could not fully know the joy of life.

Do not pull away from the possibility of pain.

You must trust that Jesus is already in the pain, waiting to help you through it.

And, by the grace of God, the pain is fleeting, momentary, a temporary stop along the journey to the destination of love, intimacy, fulfillment and satisfaction.

Have a good trip,

About the Author

Shari Popejoy
Shari Popejoy is the author of the book Won Without Words, and the blog Won Without Words, encouragement to wives. She writes the Livingstone Library, an adventure series for young people, and the blog Oh Joy!, (injoyinc.com/oh/) for busy moms. She is a frequent contributor to Christian print and online magazines, and writes from the quiet country of the Ozarks, where she lives with her husband, Marc, and their three children. You can find out all about her at sharipopejoy.com!


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