Won Without Words
winning the marriage you desire through wisdom

Shari Popejoy


July 26, 2012

What IF I Don’t Respect My Husband?

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Written by: Shari Popejoy
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Well, it’s probably not a secret.

Disrespect is as discreet as the pink elephant perched quietly in the corner of the parlor.

It’s as invisible as smallpox, and as silent as a sonic boom.

It’s as impotent as a lit fuse on a stick of dynamite. And it can be just as destructive.

Respect is as important to a man as make-up is to a woman. We both wear it as a second skin.

And yet, respect is so much more than just a colorful covering of imperfections.

When a husband is stripped of his wife’s respect, it is as though he is vulnerable and naked and shamed, an emperor with no clothes, a warrior with no armor. For when he has the respect of his wife, he can withstand anything. It’s that important.

In fact, it is possible that respect is more important than trust — for it is possible to show respect, even when we do not trust or admire or condone.

Respect is an honor that is bestowed even upon the dishonored.

Respect can be awarded to those who have not earned our trust.

Respect can be granted to those who have failed to be respectable.


Respect the position. Salute the Commander in Chief. Honor the judge. Obey the police man. Honor your parents. Respect your husband.

We can show respect even if we do not truly respect. But. . . why not try to find a way to respect our husband for his many gifts, talents, and skills . . . surely there is something deserving respect that we can focus on today. :D

  • His ability to be a good father
  • He’s a good provider
  • His kindness, his wit, his charm
  • He’s smart
  • Fill in the blank: ______________

Make a mental list. Think on these things. We don’t have to respect everything to show him general respect.

So, if you’re having trouble respecting certain qualities in your husband, just give him the general respect you’d extend to a stranger. Build on that. Don’t make it so personal. Respect is something we award, a medal of honor that we extend to our fellow man in recognition of their role and position in our lives – not necessarily in relation to their worth or their achievements, but simply a common courtesy.

Time to hand out some medals!

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About the Author

Shari Popejoy
Shari Popejoy is the author of the book Won Without Words, and the blog Won Without Words, encouragement to wives. She writes the Livingstone Library, an adventure series for young people, and the blog Oh Joy!, (injoyinc.com/oh/) for busy moms. She is a frequent contributor to Christian print and online magazines, and writes from the quiet country of the Ozarks, where she lives with her husband, Marc, and their three children. You can find out all about her at sharipopejoy.com!


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