Won Without Words
winning the marriage you desire through wisdom

Shari Popejoy


March 9, 2011

Tip #16 “Me Jane. You . . Right.”

More articles by »
Written by: Shari Popejoy
Tags: , , , , ,

Take off the gloves!

We’re on day sixteen of a one-hundred-day journey of tips and encouragement for marriage, leading up to my anniversary!

Here’s a tip on how to diffuse an argument and go straight to the make-up round!

When your husband has a complaint, or a criticism, don’t get defensive.  Don’t raise your gloves and try to deflect the blow.

You simply repeat the phrase:

“You may be right.”

He is expecting you to defend your position, or argue why he’s wrong, or blame him for being insensitive, or cry and run home to mama.  When you calmly say, “You may be right,” it allows him to feel that he has successfully communicated with you.  He has hope that whatever is bothering him just might be addressed and implemented.

Four little words.  Repeat it with me:  “You. . . may. . . .be. . . right.” :-)

Now, psychologically, he has heard, “Me . . .Jane.  You . . . Tarzan. . . You. . . right.”  Suddenly, he lets down his guard, — and please get this next step right.  You don’t rush in with a sucker punch.  You don’t hit below the belt while you’ve caught him off balance.

Call for a time out. Ask him if you can have some time to reflect on what he has said.  And then take some quiet time to truly consider what he said.  He understands the need for ‘processing time.’  In fact, when you have a similar complaint you want to address with him . . . be sure to let him have processing time.  Give him the benefit of respecting his opinion.  Even if you don’t agree, he is entitled to his opinion and his feelings. . . and so are you.

Above all, pray for God to give you wisdom.  There is a wealth of wisdom that is available in marriage.  Because God gives the man special insight, he brings a different perspective that can add a new and important dimension to a problem and challenge (yes, women have a unique perspective, too — and a mature and wise man will learn to consider his wife’s input).

Above all, as Christian women, we should believe in the leadership of our husbands. . . (and some of us even promised to obey. . . –what were we thinking???!!!  jk :-).  There have been many times that my husband was right.  I was wrong.  I thought I was right.  But he was more right — just because of his perspective and his God-given insight.  Don’t dismiss his ideas just because they are different from yours.

And be sure to schedule a rematch — later — if you still need to.  After you’ve had time to cool down and reflect, you might be amazed at your new perspective — you might decide to skip the sparring altogether and hit the mat for a wrestling match instead!

Ding, ding, ding!!! You win!


Shared with community at:

Creative Commons License
Won Without Words by Shari Popejoy is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at blog.wonwithoutwords.com.
Permissions beyond the scope of this license may be available at http://www.injoyinc.com/.

About the Author

Shari Popejoy
Shari Popejoy is the author of the book Won Without Words, and the blog Won Without Words, encouragement to wives. She writes the Livingstone Library, an adventure series for young people, and the blog Oh Joy!, (injoyinc.com/oh/) for busy moms. She is a frequent contributor to Christian print and online magazines, and writes from the quiet country of the Ozarks, where she lives with her husband, Marc, and their three children. You can find out all about her at sharipopejoy.com!


Best Eye Cream For Dark Circles
Best Stretch Mark Cream
How To Get Rid Of Dark Circles Under Eyes
Does Skin Id Work
Murad Reviews
How To Get Rid of Blackheads
How To Get Rid Of Stretch Marks
How to Get Rid of Acne Scars
How To Get Rid Of Dandruff