Won Without Words
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Shari Popejoy




Husband

December 3, 2014
 

How Polite Should I Be to My Husband?

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Written by: Denise Barkdoll
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bowlofsoup

Mind Your Manners With Your Man?

I ate my soup in silence while my husband carried on a phone conversation with a co-worker.

Naturally, I prefer his undivided attention, so at first, I was not pleased.

Here we were, on one of his rare Saturdays off of work, out to lunch by ourselves – and he was on the phone. Before long, though, I conceded (silently, in my head) that this WAS an important call, and I could let this go. Besides, Robert tried to make me feel less ignored by offering me a smile or three…and some of his fries :)

And while I decided that there was nothing here for me to get offended about, it did make me think: when it comes to my husband, do I practice politeness?

My parents raised me well.  I say “please” and “thank-you” and “excuse me”.

If I accidentally cut you off with my grocery cart in the store aisle, I will apologize. I help strangers shorter than me reach things on the top shelf. I am a careful driver, yielding when I don’t have to do so. I smile easily at people I don’t even know.

Now that I think about it again, I’m wondering: is it true that the less well I know a person, the more polite I am?

Does that make ANY sense?

I’m not talking about what I expect in treatment from Robert versus strangers, or even friends. Clearly, those are different things. And I do take into account the fact that obviously I am more comfortable and less formal with my own husband than I am with other people.

But still, when it comes to certain acts of politeness – deference, willingness to yield, putting forth my best side, choosing my words thoughtfully – am I more careful with others than I am with the one whom my soul loves?

Is this even something of which I should be mindful? Does the fact that he knows what I look like without make-up and has been there with me post-surgery in some less than glamorous moments mean that politeness just isn’t a big deal anymore?

Hmm. It’s something to think about.

– Denise

 



About the Author

Denise Barkdoll
My name is Denise, and I am a wife, a mother, a sister, a daughter, an aunt, and a child of God. I think of myself as one of His works-in-progress. My husband, Robert, and I have been married for 23 years and we are the parents of a son and two daughters.



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