Won Without Words
winning the marriage you desire through wisdom

Shari Popejoy


April 15, 2011

Tip #53 How to Avoid the #1 Cause of Divorce

I was reading in Jeremiah today. . . “But you have behaved more wickedly than your fathers (followed other gods and served and worshiped them.  They forsook me and did not keep my law).  See how each of you is following the stubbornness of his evil heart instead of obeying me.”  Jeremiah 16:12

Ever since the garden, God has honored our choices:  “But my people would not listen to me. . . would not submit to me.  So I gave them over to their stubborn hearts to follow their own devices.”  Psalm 81:11-12

It reminds me of the response Jesus gave when questioned about the legality of divorce:  “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard.  But it was not this way from the beginning.”  Matthew 19:8

What is the #1 cause of divorce?  Well, studies might claim that it is finances, or children with disabilities, or irreconcilable differences, or adultery, or abuse, or addiction, but I am convinced that all divorces are the result of one or two hard, stubborn hearts.

Many divorces could be avoided if at least one of the partners would soften their heart, and just do what God commands. . . like love. . . forgive. . . be tenderhearted. . .be ye kind. . .do all things without complaint. . . in everything give thanks.

Do not harden your heart and become stubborn.  It leads to bitterness, resentment, unforgiveness, loss. . . divorce.  If you are considering divorce,  you should test the hardness of your heart.  God’s will is for you to walk in love.  He does not want to see you make a decision that will bring hurt, resentment, bitterness and loss for you or your children.

The worst sin you can commit against God, is to reject His wisdom — His gifts to you, and follow the stubborness of your own heart.  Yes, God gave us the free gift of choice, but is pleased when, in faith, we follow His ways, instead of the stubborn inclination of our knowledge of good and evil.  In His path is blessing, goodness, wisdom and joy.

Don’t be stubborn!  If this causes your heart to rise up in rebellion, resentment. . . or stubbornness. . . just consider coming back and reading the next post!


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Won Without Words by Shari Popejoy is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.
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About the Author

Shari Popejoy
Shari Popejoy is the author of the book Won Without Words, and the blog Won Without Words, encouragement to wives. She writes the Livingstone Library, an adventure series for young people, and the blog Oh Joy!, (injoyinc.com/oh/) for busy moms. She is a frequent contributor to Christian print and online magazines, and writes from the quiet country of the Ozarks, where she lives with her husband, Marc, and their three children. You can find out all about her at sharipopejoy.com!


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