(This is tip #94 in a 100-day series to a greater marriage. Come back and review all 100 days!)
Tip #94: Conflict breeds destruction; humility brings restoration
Hmmm. . . if humility brings restoration, what exactly is humility? Is humility kind of like being a doormat and letting everyone walk all over you, wiping their feet as they go? Well, I remember that Moses was credited with being a humble man.
The authorship of the first five books of the Old Testament is attributed to Moses, but don’t you think it is ironic (or humorous) that he would write this verse? “Now Moses was a very humble man, more humble than anyone else on the face of the earth.” Numbers 12:3 Nothing like taking pride in your humility 🙂 . . . humility is my greatest virtue. . . just ask me. . . I’m proud to say how very humbled I am. . . 🙂 . . .
Anyway, when I think of humility, I recall this Proverb:
“A soft answer turneth away wrath; but grievous words stir up anger.” Proverbs 15:1
A humble person has a soft answer for everything. Consider Christ.
“Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus. . . he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross.” Philippians 2:5, 8.
In the face of arrogant religious leaders. . . a soft answer.
When confronted with open sin and immorality. . . neither do I condemn you, go and sin no more. . . a soft answer.
At the shouting of an angry mob and pounding nails. . . Father forgive them. . . a soft answer.
At the bitter (and probably justified) frustration of Martha. . .choose the one thing needful. . . a soft answer.
If we are Christians, then we can say with Paul, “I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.” Galatians 2:20, and we can demonstrate and imitate his humility. Humility unites. . . a soft answer unites. . . people are brought together when a soft answer is given; whenever humility is present, restoration occurs.
If you are experiencing conflict in your marriage, you might assess whether your arguments stem from seeking your own way. It might be time to consider humility. You might have to bend down before you can rise up. To paraphrase Abraham Lincoln’s quote,
No man stands so tall as when he stoops to help [another].
Sometimes you just need to humble yourself and apologize for the conflict — even if it wasn’t initially your fault, because if you have kept it going, or taken offense, — well, then you are to blame. . . a little! It’s not fair, but neither is Golgotha. . . It is admirable that a person would lower themselves in order to restore peace and harmony.
“Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought.” Romans 12:3
Consider humility as a path to peace! Stoop down, get on your knees, and help restore your marriage. You can do it!
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