There’s a woman who can’t stand for her husband to touch her sometimes.
And one who wishes he would just leave her alone.
Someone actually thinks that sex these days is about as appealing as being mauled by a walrus.
Several of you wish he were as romantic as that guy in that book you are reading.
And some of you have good reason for avoiding him, because his harsh treatment and avoidance of you, his lack of understanding has made you withdraw in fear, in rejection, in isolation, — and frankly you are okay with that.
Admit it. For some of you, the kisses and hugs of your children are all that you can handle, and he’s just going to have to make do with you rolling over and giving him the cold shoulder.
Some of you are so numb from the emotional abandonment that you have experienced, that you don’t feel anything anymore, and physical intimacy is just one more duty you perform, not unlike scrubbing the tub and cleaning the garbage disposal — in fact, those might be more appealing.
And it’s not so much that you are unfeeling, incapable of physical intimacy, or frigid and dysfunctional — even though he’s has maybe hinted at it. But, your vows have become prison bars that keep you faithful, but unfulfilled — locked in a prison of piety that has no potential or promise of parole. And no matter how final it feels, it’s not permanent, because if he just got it. . . if he reached out to you emotionally. . . you’re still alive, you’re a real, feeling, vibrant woman, hiding behind the mask of indifference.
The grapevine can be pretty accurate — you can tell a lot by the fruit, or the condition of the vines, or the quality of the wine. And it’s okay to admit it. It’s okay to be concerned. It’s okay to weep with despair over the condition of your vineyard. Because there is a Master Gardener who has much regard for your vineyard. He has a plan, and He knows how to redeem and restore. And He said, “It is very good.”
You, O lovely woman, have a great capacity to refresh your husband with your love, your lush and fulfilling embrace, your tender response to the affection and adoration and attraction of your husband to you. . . and your vineyard. And he has the ability to make your vineyard lovely, the admiration of the whole countryside.
And whether you know it or not, one of the main reasons you are emotionally unfulfilled is because he is physically unfulfilled. . . or the other way around. We defraud each other when we do not express love to them in the way they need to be loved. . . and you need to be loved emotionally, but he just doesn’t know that. . . he hasn’t figured it out. . . and maybe you haven’t even been able to put your frustrations into words.
So, here’s what I think we should do. How ’bout we spend Saturdays tending our vineyard, and exploring the topic of intimacy, sexuality, the sensuality of emotional intimacy, how emotional intimacy leads to physical intimacy, and the differences between how men and women approach intimacy. . . and how we can get on the same page to produce some exotic and tantalizing romantic wine of love!
And if you are a pro at this, and need no encouragement. . . then consider praying for your sisters, or commenting with your encouragement, or just take the weekends off and have fun with your hubby!
So. . . Saturdays are for tending our vineyards. . . which can be a sizzling, satisfying, sensual experience!!! All of course, presented in an honest and frank manner, but fairly family friendly, although PG!
See you tomorrow?
Won Without Words by Shari Popejoy is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at blog.wonwithoutwords.com.
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