Really? You think I would encourage you to be sneaky or deceptive with your husband?

Nah. 😀 Intimacy means being completely open and vulnerable, love without restrictions, intimacy with integrity.

Be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves. Matthew 10:16

It is the time of year when your husband is most likely to come to church or be receptive to spiritual things. But there is a right way and a wrong way to get him there. Here are a few tips I’ve learned through the years:

  • Consider starting small: instead of making him come to Sunday School, church, and a fellowship dinner. . . maybe he could come for a brief community Thanksgiving prayer, or a candlelight vigil, or something that is open to the community, and not just to your crowd of believers. . . don’t make him the outsider.
  • Don’t make him commit. Give him an open-ended invitation. Don’t demand an answer today, because it will probably be NO. Just say, “There is a special service on [date, location, time — just the facts, ma’am] and I’d like for you to go with us, if you can.”
  • Include all the details of what to expect: if he has to get up and introduce himself, or there will be a long-winded preacher who won’t dismiss until 12:30, or if Sister So-and-So is going to shake his hand with a wadded up kleenex, just give the poor guy fair warning.
  • Let him know that it would really mean a lot to you if he would escort you to church. Don’t make it about spiritual things . . . make it a point of polite and manly duty.
  • Make sure that he has appropriate clothes, or that he has permission to wear whatever he wants.
  • Research spiritual gatherings that don’t occur in a church. . . for example cowboy churches are popular, Christmas community events, homeless shelter outreaches, toys for tots, or other Christian toy drives. . . go where Jesus would have gone, and your husband may see Jesus in action there.
  • Ask him if he has something special he would like to do to celebrate faith and family. . . he might surprise you!

I suspect that you want what most wives want. You want your husband to be open to spiritual matters, not just to attend church, but to connect with you spiritually. And the Thanksgiving and Christmas season is full of opportunities to celebrate faith and family. You, O wife, have a wonderful privilege of influencing your husband to be a better man.

There is a difference between influence and manipulation. Influence is a bucket of corn in the pasture, manipulation is a crowd tub leading to a cattle chute.

You might try these subtle and smart ways to influence your husband this Thanksgiving and Christmas season so that you can share some special moments together in faith and spirit . . . and to plant some spiritual seeds that will take root and grow.


Shared with friends at: